The Plumbing
Forget about the plumbing. It will work perfectly. It always does, if you inspect it, because plumbing is one of the most intelligent life forms on the planet, and it would never be as stupid as to tip its hand to you. It will wait until after you have bought the house. Then it will make its move. Late some night, you'll hear strange gurglings and sloshings in your pipes; this will be the sound of your toilets communicating with each other, making their plans:
First Toilet: It's on. Tomorrow is New Year's Day, they have house guests, it's four degrees below zero outside, and their plumber is in Switzerland. We break tonight.
Second Toilet: Ha ha! I'll tell the hot water heater.
Mortage Payments
... you are definitely going to need the bank to give you a lot of money in the form of a mortage. The bank is willing to do this because, the way mortages are set up, no matter how many payments you make, you still owe the bank all the money you ever borrowed. Really. THis explains why, in all your wide circle of friends, you don't know a single person who ever came close to paying off a mortage. When you have a mortage, at the end of every year the bank sends you a statement like this:
YOUR OUTSTANDING BALANCE AS OF THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR:$93,423.54
YOUR TOTAL PAYMENTS MADE DURING THE YEAR: $11,647.32
YOUR OUTSTANDING BALANCE AS OF THE END OF THE YEAR : $93,423.54
And lastly, the quote for today : "Both are theives, the receiver as well as the stealer." - Phocylides, sixth-century B.C.E. poet, Moral Epigrams.
*Extracted from : Pack of theives - How Hitler and Europe plundered the Jews and committed the Greatest Theft in History.*
posted by Glenn @ 7:41 PM
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