My Inspiration

I broke the norms!! Haha.. but too bad social psychology tutorial is over. Had a mad time yesterday.. Laughed so damn hard. If any of you go watch movies the next time, watch out for the Japanese crusine advert. Damn bloody funny. "Dom dom dom 1-2-3.. Suntec Tower Level 3." -_-'' We laughed all the way from Lido to Esplanade. Roy had stitches!! Haha.. And we broke some norms lah. Cos it was late, we were walking across the road when we decided to stand in the middle and have a conversation! Lol.. The drivers were like "What the hell!" And it was true. When we looked at them back, the turned away real fast. We also sang loudly at the esplanade.. near the river. FUNNY!! The people fishing there were like.. "Tsk tsk." And, when he caught one, I decided to be friendly. I asked if it was a Tiger Fish. And he played along and said "no, it's a grouper." Oh well, had a really good laugh lah. Stomach felt much firmer when I went home =) Great time! Cheers people. Looking forward to fri.. and maybe a meal at the jap restaurant? Dom Dom Dom... (Chop your spring onions!)

posted by Glenn @ 12:16 PM 0 comments

My cousin decided to come over today, over to my place to spoil my laptop. Which is fine really, because the other time I was at his house, I spoilt his water heater. Anyway, I didn't feel particularly anxious because you know how those not-to-worry-we-will-do-all-we-can-to-repair-your-computer-even-if-we-have-tomake-a-trip-to-Gobi-desert-to-get-the-parts and if we-don't-live-to-come-back-we-will-send-another-repairman-there ads we see on TV? Well, no worries. I walked over to the drawer and picked up my life-saver. Yup, you guessed right - the system's manual. Flipping to the "help" section, here's what they wrote.

RECA Help Section

Basics
1) Firstly check if you have plugged in the plug into the socket. Please put a tick at the end of this sentence if you did.
2) Very good. Now check that you have turned on the switch. Please put a tick at the end of this sentence if you did.
3) Well done. Now on the laptop. Please put a tick at the end of this sentence if you did.
4) Great. Now If the laptop doesn't seem to be running at all, you have a problem. There is no need for a tick for this sentence.

Moving On - some steps you should try before calling us
1) If you have a connection at home, log on to www.reca.com.sg for online help.
2) Oh yeah we forgot, you can't switch the laptop on.
3) Looks like you can't do anything. Nevermind, the next step will at least assure you.
4) Gently remove the battries from the laptop and put it back. Try switching on the power.
5) Usually it never works. So nevermind.
6) Now, as roughly as you can, pull out the battery and ram it back inside. 'Shove' if you please.
7) Switch on. Then let me guess. It doesn't work to right? Good. Now I can garantee you that YOUR LAPTOP IS DEFINITELY, SURELY, UNDENIABLY spoilt.

Calling Us
1) Now pick up the phone and call us at 1800-No-One-Ever-Picks-Up.
2) Our operators are available 24/7.*
3) No, I'm kidding.

[**Actually this happens only once in ten years, which means you are one lucky bast**d to get them on that day.] <- This was written in minature text size. I am merely enlarging it from viewing purpose.

After a few hours of trying, we gave up. Instead, we called the plumber who fixed my cousin's water heater. At least he didn't need to go all the way to Gobi desert for my computer parts - just a few pipes did the job.

posted by Glenn @ 7:47 PM 0 comments

Another piece I read today by Dave Barry. Kinda lame.. but enjoy! Haha..

A Titanic Splash (Again) - Dave Barry Is Not Taking this Sitting Down!

(The movie opens with the Titanic II, getting ready to sail. As the ship's horn blasts a mighty departing toot, up runs spunky young Jack Dawson, played by Leonardo DiCaprio. There is seaweed on him.)

JACK: Whew! I just made it!
ROSE: Jack! I thought you had drown! To death!
JACK: No! Fortunately, the bitter North Atlantic cold was unable to penetrate my protective layer of hair gel! Who are you?
ROSE: I'm Rose! Remember? You gave your life for me in Titanic I.
JACK: But that Rose was played by Kate Winslet!
ROSE: She didn't want to be in another movie with you, because your cheekbones were much higher! So the part went to me, Demi Moore!
JACK: Whatever.
(The scene shifts to the ship's bridge.)
CAPTAIN: Ahoy First mate! Commence starboard computer animations! Full speed ahead!
FIRST MATE: Sir! We're getting reports of gigantic ice-bergs directly ahead! Should we go slow?
CAPTAIN: Don't be silly! What are the chances that we are going to hit another...
(There is a loud crunching sound. Big pieces of ice come through the window, along with several penguins.)
CAPTAIN: Dang!
FIRST MATE: Sir! The computerised sinking animation has commenced!
(The scene shifts to the Poop Deck, where the water is rising fast. Jack and Rose are helping women and children into a lifeboat, when an evil vallian appears with a gun.)
VILLIAN: Out of the way! I'm taking this lifeboat all for myself!
JACK: It's Kenneth Turan, film critic for the L.A Times!
TURAN: That's right, and I shall stop at nothing to get off this ship because the dialogue is terrible!
JACK: It's not!
TURAN: Is too!
(They commence fighting.)
THE LATE BURGESS MEREDITH: You can do it, Rock! Watch out for the jab!
JACK: Hey! You're in the wrong sequel!
MEREDITH: Sorry!
(This enables Turan, by cheating, to have an upperhand.)
TURAN: I have gained the upperhand! Whatever that expression means! And now, pretty boy, I'm going to... OHMIGOD! NOOO!
(Turan is torn into rasin-sized pieces by an irate horde of young female Leonardo DiCaprio fans.)
JACK: Whew! That was close! Uh-oh! The ships's almost done sinking!
ROSE: This is it! I hope I don't end up as an old bag in this movie!
(As the two lovers start to slip beneath the icy cold computerized waves, they embrace. There is a cracking sound.)
JACK: You broke my ribs!
ROSE: Sorry! I have tremendous upper-body strength since starring in G.I. Jane!
JACK: Don't worry as long as my cheekbones are O.K.
(The water slowly closes over them. In the distance, we hear two crew members on a lifeboat, looking for survivors.)
FIRST CREW MEMBER: What's that sound coming from over there?
SECOND CREW MEMBER: It sounds like... Oh my God! It's Celine Dion!
FIRST CREW MEMBER: Let's get out of here!
(THE END)

posted by Glenn @ 7:36 PM 0 comments