My Inspiration

My cousin decided to come over today, over to my place to spoil my laptop. Which is fine really, because the other time I was at his house, I spoilt his water heater. Anyway, I didn't feel particularly anxious because you know how those not-to-worry-we-will-do-all-we-can-to-repair-your-computer-even-if-we-have-tomake-a-trip-to-Gobi-desert-to-get-the-parts and if we-don't-live-to-come-back-we-will-send-another-repairman-there ads we see on TV? Well, no worries. I walked over to the drawer and picked up my life-saver. Yup, you guessed right - the system's manual. Flipping to the "help" section, here's what they wrote.

RECA Help Section

Basics
1) Firstly check if you have plugged in the plug into the socket. Please put a tick at the end of this sentence if you did.
2) Very good. Now check that you have turned on the switch. Please put a tick at the end of this sentence if you did.
3) Well done. Now on the laptop. Please put a tick at the end of this sentence if you did.
4) Great. Now If the laptop doesn't seem to be running at all, you have a problem. There is no need for a tick for this sentence.

Moving On - some steps you should try before calling us
1) If you have a connection at home, log on to www.reca.com.sg for online help.
2) Oh yeah we forgot, you can't switch the laptop on.
3) Looks like you can't do anything. Nevermind, the next step will at least assure you.
4) Gently remove the battries from the laptop and put it back. Try switching on the power.
5) Usually it never works. So nevermind.
6) Now, as roughly as you can, pull out the battery and ram it back inside. 'Shove' if you please.
7) Switch on. Then let me guess. It doesn't work to right? Good. Now I can garantee you that YOUR LAPTOP IS DEFINITELY, SURELY, UNDENIABLY spoilt.

Calling Us
1) Now pick up the phone and call us at 1800-No-One-Ever-Picks-Up.
2) Our operators are available 24/7.*
3) No, I'm kidding.

[**Actually this happens only once in ten years, which means you are one lucky bast**d to get them on that day.] <- This was written in minature text size. I am merely enlarging it from viewing purpose.

After a few hours of trying, we gave up. Instead, we called the plumber who fixed my cousin's water heater. At least he didn't need to go all the way to Gobi desert for my computer parts - just a few pipes did the job.

posted by Glenn @ 7:47 PM